Category: Life After Lyme
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dreaming
Read more: dreamingI have had some vivid, amazing dreams lately. Animals visit me regularly in these dreams. So far, I’ve had dreams with turtles, snakes, elephants, bees, cats, frogs, and dogs. At first, I just bored Katie with retellings of these dreams. Her advice was to look up the meaning of the dreams. Well, I did. Let…
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curmudgeon
Read more: curmudgeonIs there a word for female curmudgeon? The formal definition is a “bad-tempered person, especially an old one” and is unisex. I’m not one yet, but I’ve been flirting with the possibilities of allowing myself the luxury. This would require energy, maybe more energy than the daily decision to find something good about the day.…
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resettling
Read more: resettlingI railroaded my dad into letting me move in with him this past September. It seemed like a good time with COVID and lockdowns and my continued journey with chronic Lyme. The original plan was to sell my house, move in with dad for a while, and later on, move to Costa Rica. Then came…
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One of those days
Read more: One of those daysThere is truth to the adage Johnny Depp quoted in “Pirates of the Caribbean”: “Crazy people don’t know they’re crazy”. Whenever Lyme is flaring up, I am always slow to realize it’s happening. The first signs are the same. Aches and pains, headaches, a heavy fatigue, and a brain that skips and skitters. Obviously I…
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baking
Read more: bakingI stopped baking almost twenty years ago, after I stopped eating gluten and dairy. Katie wasn\’t big into most baked goods back then and I didn\’t need the sugar, fat, and calories. After I got Lyme disease, these foods were inflammatory, something else I didn\’t need. I got used to not eating any sweets and…
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Quarantine
Read more: QuarantineForgive me if I don\’t have much sympathy for your quarantine woes. Unless you are trapped in an untenable, dangerous situation, it\’s not that bad. After five plus years with Lyme, I have had to self-quarantine off and on, sometimes for months. Not for the same reasons, nor in the same way, but the idea…
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sequestered
Read more: sequesteredThere’s a difference between quarantined and sequestered. Quarantined means YOU have the illness. Sequestered means I DON’T WANT THE ILLNESS. I’m back to where I was three years ago: stuck at home being sick. Bartonella, one of my co-infections, is the bane of my existence. Borrelia burgdorferi and babesia have been contained (not eradicated, contained.) Not Bartonella. It…
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mental
Read more: mentalI’ve been thinking about suicide a lot lately. Wait, don’t panic! Not in a real way, but in a Lyme way. There is a difference, and it is significant. Psychiatric problems from Lyme are well-documented and common. After all, there are, quite literally, bugs in your brain, wreaking havoc. So when I say I think about…
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RomComs
Read more: RomComsI can always tell when I’m feeling better. First sign is a manic frenzy to get my life “back on track”. I play catch-up and start to think about the future. That instantly brings on depression, anxiety and panic, so I try to balance it out by watching romcoms. I like romantic comedies. A LOT.…
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Stalled
Read more: StalledI’ve been holed up lately, because there’s not much to say right now. Yes, I’m still sick. No, I don’t know if I’ll ever be completely well. No, there’s really no clear path or prognosis for me. Yes, it sucks. The uncertainty and grind of being sick for so long has started to wear me…
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Fears
Read more: FearsI used to think I wasn’t a fearful person. Armed with statistics and a healthy lifestyle, illness and accidents were part of a lottery I thought I had little chance of winning. Then I was bitten by a tick. Now I see that I had plenty of fears, I just didn’t admit to them. Except…
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Katie
Read more: KatieI discovered two things about myself the day Katie was born: I would die for another person, and I would kill for another person. That a love so fierce could spring up inside of me was a surprise I think no new parent can anticipate. I’d been waiting for her my whole life. Why have…
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bumbling
Read more: bumblingA new chapter, turning over a new leaf, rising from the ashes, rebirth, starting over; the sheer number of maxims boggles the mind. The facts are usually the same. Person has a setback, person begins life with a new purpose. I might argue this is one of the most basic facts of life. It smacks…
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